these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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