You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
