I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
