Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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