I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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