I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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