Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
