Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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