We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's paint friendship bongs
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
