i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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