eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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