he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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