Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
