My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
