he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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