Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
