My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
