fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
