I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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