try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Come on in and take your pants off
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