ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
