dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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