Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
a search helicopter?!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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