THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
