Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My Sexting was not on an AP level
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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