"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
