i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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