I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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