I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
