Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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