he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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