I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
