you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
