just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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