i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
