Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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