My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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