were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
