get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
