Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
