In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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