i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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