Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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