Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
