so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
