Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
