Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
