do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
