yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
