bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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