dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
