Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
