Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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