she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
